


hurts like hell.

by haydenmd



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Superfamily, it's gonna be painful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 14:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17869271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haydenmd/pseuds/haydenmd
Summary: something very bad just happened and tony doesn't know where to turn to next. he can't go to his husband. he can't go to his son. he definitely can't go to any of the avengers. and he most certainly can't go to the media like he did when he was struggling with the identity of iron man. he's all alone. and all if these feelings need an outlet, who just so happens to come far too late.





	hurts like hell.

**Author's Note:**

> aka: i cried during infinity war because i already missed spiderman & wrote this on the car ride home. i made it superfamily just because i can.

If there was one thing Tony thought would never happen, it was that he would live to see his son's death. It always seemed like an impossibility. Peter was so young—so full of life. And maybe that's why it hurt so much to see him crumble to dust in front of him was jarring. Peter was seen as the impossible brightness to his dark life and now he was _gone_. Just like that.

"He died in my arms." That was his mantra. He didn't talk to anyone during the weeks after Thanos's win. Not his husband—even if they were taking a break due to tensions over the EU contract, they were still married. Not his friends. Not his employees in Stark Industries. No one knew of his loss of a son.

Mostly because no one knew that Peter Parker—that _Spiderman_ —was even his son. Tony and Steve had kept not only their marriage under wraps, but also their adopted son. After all, the media would have a fit if two of their greatest heroes up and decided to become dads without warning them first.

"He died in my arms." It was all he said when finally sitting down with Steve to talk about it. "Our son died in my arms as his confusion grew about what was happening. Why did it have to take him? Why not take me instead? I'm older and more powerful. I should have died that day. Not him. He was less of a threat. So why—in the goddamn hell—did the universe kill him?"

Tony's voice scratched from underuse as he ran his fingers through his hair; his nails dug at his scalp. His son was ripped from his arms by the universe. Why did the universe choose Peter to die? Thanos said that it was random, but it couldn't be. It was too coincidental. That after all this time of loving a child, taking him in after the death of his parents and only living relative of Aunt May, the universe would take away the only thing that still kept his heart from turning completely cold.

"It's not your fault," Steve said, breaking the silence that was only interrupter by their breathing. It felt surreal. Steve had never expected to see his son's death—not after he went rouge and certainly not before he hit the ice—but here it was. "I can't even imagine wha—"

"No. No you can't. You left us all alone. You forced him to choose a side in a war where his fathers were the leaders going head to head. You forced our son to pick a side to fight for. You left when he chose me. You left all because you didn't want some rules on our operation. And then, the icing on the cake, you didn't even bother to show up to his funeral. I buried an empty coffin in a small ceremony with only three people in attendance. Me, Happy, and Ned. I had to be the one to tell our son's best friend that Peter was dead. And worse... I had to tell him that it was my fault. his friend was dead. I had to tell a _child_ that I couldn't stop my own _son's_ death. You didn't bother to call once in two _fucking_ years. You never picked up the phone to ask 'hey Pete, how's school?' You were too busy in your own self destruction mission."

"Tony, I'm so sor—"

" _Yeah_. Yeah, of course you are Steve. You're always sorry once it's too late to fix anything. I thought that for once you might care about something other than yourself, but I was so, so wrong. You didn't bother to check in on me for the _months_ after his death. I have been dealing with this on my _own_ for so _damn_ long. Our son's dead Steve and you were too busy with your own crew to even notice my absence from the media. I don't know if you noticed—but being both _the_ Tony Stark and _the_ Iron Man gets you a lot of coverage. And for these past months I have gotten _nothing_. I thought you would notice—like a loving husband—and come for me, but you didn't. So cut the bullshit, Rogers and let's go avenge our son. Unless of course, you're too busy with Romanoff trying to fix your mistake."

The words just kept bubbling. He was exploding and pretty soon, he would crumble into a pile of tears and self pity. He wanted to stop it—he told Strange to keep the time stone with him instead of giving it to Thanos to save Tony. If only he had taken orders. If only he had kept his promise that protecting the stone was a far greater good than protecting him or Peter.

"He died in my arms. Don't you understand? He stood there, mumbling all of his thoughts. He called me _Mr. Stark_. You know how long it has been since he called me that? I have been _Dad_ for so long, but during his final moments, while he rambled on in confusion, he called me _Mr. Stark_. He didn't even remember that we were father and son. And that hurts far less than having to hold his crumbling form with tears—actual fucking tears—in my eyes as I cradled my blood soaked body to try and think of something better to say than 'I don't know.' In his last moments, I couldn't even answer the one question he kept repeating. I couldn't answer 'Mr. Stark, what's happening?' or even a simple 'I don't want to go.' Do you understand, Steve, or did the ice finally reach your heart?"


End file.
